Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult experiences. It's a skill that can be developed in children, and it's so important for them to learn how to be resilient because as I’m sure you are well aware, life has its ups and downs. Resilience helps kids cope with challenges, adapt when things don't go their way, recover from setbacks, and keep going towards their goals even when they feel discouraged or overwhelmed by tricky obstacles along the way.
Resilient children have good social skills (like empathy, self control and problem solving skills), they're optimistic about their future prospects--and they know how to make friends easily! They also tend to have strong self-esteem because they know that no matter what happens in life there will always be someone who loves them unconditionally: YOU! (the parentals)
How to Foster Resilience in Your Children
As a parent, you can help your child build resilience by encouraging independence, setting realistic expectations and teaching problem solving skills. Resilience isn't something that is magically bestowed upon us, but rather a skill we must actively practice and cultivate. For parents and teachers it is vital that we support children to do so.
Encourage independence: Children who feel confident in their ability to make decisions or solve problems on their own are better equipped to deal with adversity than those who don't. Let your child know that it's okay if they make mistakes or fail at something--that's how we learn! But it is also important to encourage good manners and initiative, because the opposite will only hinder their development as adults.
Set realistic expectations: It's important for parents not to set unrealistically high goals for themselves or their children; otherwise you and they could end up feeling disappointed when things don't turn out exactly as planned (or even worse). Instead of telling yourself things like "I need this job" or "My kid needs top marks," try thinking about what would make you and them happy. Remember you are always a role model for your child, so modelling how to cope in challenging situations is important also.
How to Help Your Child Overcome Challenges
Help your child manage emotions.
Teach your child to seek help.
Encourage your child to practice self-care.
Tips for Building a Supportive Environment
Create a safe space for your child.
Build positive relationships with their teachers, coaches and other adults who work with them.
Promote healthy communication between you and your child by listening carefully to what they say, asking questions and showing interest in their answers.
The Benefits of Building Resilience in Children
There are many benefits to building resilience in children.
Better mental health
Improved problem solving skills
Increased self-confidence
Tools to Help Build Resilience in Children
Role-playing: Role-playing is a great way to help kids develop social skills and build confidence. You can ask your child what they would do if they were faced with a difficult situation, and then role-play together. For example, if your child has trouble asking for help at school or in the community, you could act out how they might go about asking someone who can help them. The more practice they get at this type of thing, the easier it will become for them!
Storytelling: Storytelling is another tool that can be used to build resilience in children. It's important not only because it allows us all an opportunity to reflect on our lives but also because stories provide context for behaviour--why did someone act like that? What was going through their mind when they made those decisions? Your child may have some interesting stories from their own experiences; why not sit down together and write them down so everyone knows what happened!
Tips for Parents to Model Resilience
Model resilience: Children learn how to deal with stress by watching their parents, so it's important that you model resilience in your daily life. If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remind yourself that things will get better soon. Also talking to your child about your own emotions and feelings will help them to understand that everyone does experience worry and stress. Discussing how you are problem solving will also help to model helpful strategies.
Foster a positive attitude: It can be difficult for children who are struggling with anxiety or depression to see the silver lining in any given situation; however, one of the best ways for parents is fostering optimism among their kids by encouraging them not only when they succeed but also when they fail (because everyone fails sometimes). This means acknowledging that mistakes happen and don't define us as people--they're just part of life! When something goes wrong at school or on an exam score sheet at home: "It's okay; we'll figure out what went wrong here later."
Signs Your Child May Need More Support
If your child is struggling with any of the following, it's time to ask for help:
Difficulty managing emotions: Children who are unable to regulate their emotions may seem overly emotional and easily upset, or they may withdraw from others and appear depressed. They may also have trouble making decisions or feel overwhelmed by even small tasks that other children can do easily.
Difficulty making friends: Children who have trouble interacting with peers often find themselves on the outside looking in, even when they try their best to fit in with other kids at school or play dates at home. If your child has a hard time connecting with other children, consider talking with his teacher about ways you can help him improve his social skills so he feels more comfortable around others--and vice versa!
If you feel that your child needs additional support in order to develop their resilience skills or if you have concerns about their behaviour or mental health (e.g., anxiety), it may be helpful for them to seek professional help. Mindful Kids Melbourne offers programs to support the development of resilience, check out the Might Minds and Inner Strengths programs for further details.
Also check out one of MKM’s favourite resources, Smiling Minds: Resilient Families Program, so many fantastic online resources to develop resilient strategies in your family.
